you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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