oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
