u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
