I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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