Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
