so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
