Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
