There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
