thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
