Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
