My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
