All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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