I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Of course I have a pirate flag
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
