Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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