Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
