38 yer olds are good kisserssss
do herpes really smell.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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