I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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