I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
