Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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