she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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