I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize