is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
