Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
and you fell through a lawn chair
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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