Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
