I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
