some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
