I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
