The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I would ride that face into the sunset
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
