She is in my trunk
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
