We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize