Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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