she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize