I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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