i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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