No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
