I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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