they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
