a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
