Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
