my mouth tastes like poor choices
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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