Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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