so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
