You're earring is so big in my mouth
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
