i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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