So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
