the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
