i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
