i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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