so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
there is puke in my bra ... again
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