Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
