feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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