You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
