Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
