are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize